Our series on building Trust continues with this new post, the keyword here is access to classified info. Enjoy this part.
8. Learn to say NO! Sometimes you need to say NO! Often it is crucial to say NO! Saying NO sets boundaries around you that protects you from being hurt or venturing into territory that will be destructive to your heart and soul.
You draw a line. You stop tolerating that which drains energy and makes you less than YOU. You refuse to allow the destructive behaviors of others to destroy you. You build a moat around the core of your life. You do this by informing the other person of what they are doing. You request they stop. If they don’t stop, you demand they stop. If they don’t stop you walk away without a snide remark, eye-roll or comment.
To some this seems harsh, but saying NO is RESPECTED. Fear is the basis of mistrust. If you fear that someone will hurt you and believe you have no recourse but to endure that hurt, fear will prevail. How can you trust when you are in fear? Saying NO, protecting yourself, sends a message to the other person that you will not live in fear.
This usually triggers a response of respect from the other person. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to that which is destructive, will not the other person come to trust you and see you as a person who just might protect him/her from harm as well? You also need to get a first hand information about what is amiss between the two of you, that can only come when you have acess to classified information from heaven.
Monday, 12 June 2017
Monday, 5 June 2017
SEVEN THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE YOUR SPOUSE DAILY
I'm taking a break from the ongoing series on trust building in relationship. The interlude I'm bringing is a quick shot in the arm that you will agree is a powerful spice to the series. Please endeavour to read the previously posted parts of the series if you're just getting here for the first time. How I wish I've met this post before now, however it's never too late.
It's a piece written by a good friend.
SEVEN THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE YOUR SPOUSE DAILY: When it comes to giving,many married people are generous to everybody except their spouses. There are seven things you should give your spouse daily. This are not weekly , monthly or annual giving. They are things you must give your spouse daily. Let's see them:
1. Give your spouse a touch: One of the ways to bond with your spouse is to give him or her a touch. We have encouragement touch, affirmation touch, healing touch, apology touch, and we have sexual touch. Study your partners and know what touch to give at a particular time. If you want God to touch your marriage, touch your spouse. Don't let today go like that without touching your partner.
2. Give your spouse a Space: As much as you need to bond with your spouse and be together for daily intimacy, communication, affection, planning, etc ,yet, you still need to give your spouse his /her space. There is time for couples prayers, time for couples bonding. Also there is time for personal prayer, personal meditation, personal rest, personal planing, etc. Don't choke your spouse. Don't be over- possessive and over demanding to your spouse. Stop unnecessary policing and monitoring. Give your spouse a space they need when they need it.
3: Give your spouse a call/ chat: Some people can chat with all the contacts on their phones & all the friends on their friends list on Facebook. But they will never chat or call their spouse throughout the day. Chatting or calling your spouse in a day at work is a way of saying, 'Dear, despite my busy schedule, I have you in mind. I am thinking about you'. Make sure you send a chat, or give a call to your spouse today. Make it a daily thing. No body can be tired of receiving a caring chat or a call from someone they love.
4: Give your spouse a Hug: Hugging is fast disappearing in many marriages today. It has been researched that, hugging is one of the emotional needs of every human being. It is scarcity of spousal hug that makes many men to hug ladies who are not their wives indiscriminately. Many women too crave for hugs and they allow every Tom and Jerry to hug them because their husbands are not giving them hug. It might be in the morning, or at night, let no day pass without hugging your spouse. It is one valuable thing you must give your spouse. It could be a welcoming hug, a goodbye hug, an appreciating hug, affirmative hug. Hugging is a non verbal means of communication. Use it well. Don't let your husband or wife crave for hug from strangers when you are still alive. Hug passionately! Hug romantically.
5. Give your spouse a smile: God smiles on a home when couples smile at each other. A smile is a way of telling your spouse, 'You delight me', 'Your presence amuses me', 'I am pleased with you'. Frowning at your spouse is not a thing that should last a whole day. One of the way to know your marriage is SMELLING is when you are not SMILING with each other. Smile. It is one of the best gifts you can give your spouse in a day. I love to smile alot and I love to see my Queen smile. I don't like people who are not generous with their smile. It is free. You don't need to pay to smile. Just relax your muscles and smile. Couples, smile , keep smiling! To prevent your marriage from smelling, keep smiling with your spouse.
6: Give your spouse Peace of mind: The home is the end-point of every thing we do daily. Let me explain it this way. If you are a doctor, you can't sleep in the hospital all the days of your life. You will need to come home. If you are an engineer, you can't sleep in the site all days. If you are a lawyer, you can't sleep in the bar all days. Even as a pastor, you can't be in the Church 24/7. We all must go back home. Home is the end point. So, if your spouse will be excited to come home, it must be a peaceful home. Stop nagging, fighting, insulting, abusing , threatening, and humiliating your spouse. Give him rest of mind. Give your wife rest of mind. Be the head of your wife sir, not the headache of your wife. Madam, be a wife , and not a 'knife' to your husband. Blessed are the couples that give each other peace of mind daily!
7: Give your spouse a prayer : No matter how wealthy or highly connected you are, there are things you can not do for your spouse. You are limited. One of the ways to show love to your spouse is to commit him/her to the unlimited God. Say a word of prayer to your spouse daily. Every other things may fail and may not work. But no force can withstand the power of prayer. You can't heal your spouse, only God can heal him/her. You can lengthen the days of your spouse. Only God can do that. You can't save your spouse. You can't take away addiction and evil habits from your spouse , only God can do that for him/her. Pray to God. Mention the name of your husband/wife to God. As a man, you are the priest of your family, lay your hands on your wife, or hold her hands and say a word of prayer to her life. It is a major gift many couples find so difficult to give each other. Blessed is that wife whose husband gives a gift of prayer daily. (Visevisa).
Pray for your spouse if you don't want him/her to become a prey in the hand of the devil.
All this seven things you must give your spouse daily are very easy, simple, free and important. Put them on your 'to-do-list'. Don't forget to give it. Remember, givers never lack. If you give your spouse all these, I can assure you that, there is a high assurance that you will get it back.
I love your marriage. The joy of your family is my priority.
Share to bless a family. Share, don't plagarise it.
Written by :
© Ebenezer Diyaolu
It's a piece written by a good friend.
SEVEN THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE YOUR SPOUSE DAILY: When it comes to giving,many married people are generous to everybody except their spouses. There are seven things you should give your spouse daily. This are not weekly , monthly or annual giving. They are things you must give your spouse daily. Let's see them:
1. Give your spouse a touch: One of the ways to bond with your spouse is to give him or her a touch. We have encouragement touch, affirmation touch, healing touch, apology touch, and we have sexual touch. Study your partners and know what touch to give at a particular time. If you want God to touch your marriage, touch your spouse. Don't let today go like that without touching your partner.
2. Give your spouse a Space: As much as you need to bond with your spouse and be together for daily intimacy, communication, affection, planning, etc ,yet, you still need to give your spouse his /her space. There is time for couples prayers, time for couples bonding. Also there is time for personal prayer, personal meditation, personal rest, personal planing, etc. Don't choke your spouse. Don't be over- possessive and over demanding to your spouse. Stop unnecessary policing and monitoring. Give your spouse a space they need when they need it.
3: Give your spouse a call/ chat: Some people can chat with all the contacts on their phones & all the friends on their friends list on Facebook. But they will never chat or call their spouse throughout the day. Chatting or calling your spouse in a day at work is a way of saying, 'Dear, despite my busy schedule, I have you in mind. I am thinking about you'. Make sure you send a chat, or give a call to your spouse today. Make it a daily thing. No body can be tired of receiving a caring chat or a call from someone they love.
4: Give your spouse a Hug: Hugging is fast disappearing in many marriages today. It has been researched that, hugging is one of the emotional needs of every human being. It is scarcity of spousal hug that makes many men to hug ladies who are not their wives indiscriminately. Many women too crave for hugs and they allow every Tom and Jerry to hug them because their husbands are not giving them hug. It might be in the morning, or at night, let no day pass without hugging your spouse. It is one valuable thing you must give your spouse. It could be a welcoming hug, a goodbye hug, an appreciating hug, affirmative hug. Hugging is a non verbal means of communication. Use it well. Don't let your husband or wife crave for hug from strangers when you are still alive. Hug passionately! Hug romantically.
5. Give your spouse a smile: God smiles on a home when couples smile at each other. A smile is a way of telling your spouse, 'You delight me', 'Your presence amuses me', 'I am pleased with you'. Frowning at your spouse is not a thing that should last a whole day. One of the way to know your marriage is SMELLING is when you are not SMILING with each other. Smile. It is one of the best gifts you can give your spouse in a day. I love to smile alot and I love to see my Queen smile. I don't like people who are not generous with their smile. It is free. You don't need to pay to smile. Just relax your muscles and smile. Couples, smile , keep smiling! To prevent your marriage from smelling, keep smiling with your spouse.
6: Give your spouse Peace of mind: The home is the end-point of every thing we do daily. Let me explain it this way. If you are a doctor, you can't sleep in the hospital all the days of your life. You will need to come home. If you are an engineer, you can't sleep in the site all days. If you are a lawyer, you can't sleep in the bar all days. Even as a pastor, you can't be in the Church 24/7. We all must go back home. Home is the end point. So, if your spouse will be excited to come home, it must be a peaceful home. Stop nagging, fighting, insulting, abusing , threatening, and humiliating your spouse. Give him rest of mind. Give your wife rest of mind. Be the head of your wife sir, not the headache of your wife. Madam, be a wife , and not a 'knife' to your husband. Blessed are the couples that give each other peace of mind daily!
7: Give your spouse a prayer : No matter how wealthy or highly connected you are, there are things you can not do for your spouse. You are limited. One of the ways to show love to your spouse is to commit him/her to the unlimited God. Say a word of prayer to your spouse daily. Every other things may fail and may not work. But no force can withstand the power of prayer. You can't heal your spouse, only God can heal him/her. You can lengthen the days of your spouse. Only God can do that. You can't save your spouse. You can't take away addiction and evil habits from your spouse , only God can do that for him/her. Pray to God. Mention the name of your husband/wife to God. As a man, you are the priest of your family, lay your hands on your wife, or hold her hands and say a word of prayer to her life. It is a major gift many couples find so difficult to give each other. Blessed is that wife whose husband gives a gift of prayer daily. (Visevisa).
Pray for your spouse if you don't want him/her to become a prey in the hand of the devil.
All this seven things you must give your spouse daily are very easy, simple, free and important. Put them on your 'to-do-list'. Don't forget to give it. Remember, givers never lack. If you give your spouse all these, I can assure you that, there is a high assurance that you will get it back.
I love your marriage. The joy of your family is my priority.
Share to bless a family. Share, don't plagarise it.
Written by :
© Ebenezer Diyaolu
Thursday, 1 June 2017
10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship: PART 3
I want to believe you're enjoying this series so far, I'm because the contributor of this piece is a great guy. Do read on.
5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn’t talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it.
She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can’t trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person.
Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining.
Now, please. I’m not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the 23 secrets of your illicit past behaviors. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not qualify as an elephant.
Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge. However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.
6. Let YOUR needs be known – loudly. Be a little – no, be a lot – self-centered. (Be self-centered, but not selfish!) Here’s a problem I run into almost every day. He is backing away (perhaps attached to work, another person, etc.). She feels the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to “win him back.” So she begins an all out effort to “work on the marriage.” She invites him to do so as well.
He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to “be nice” and meet every need he ever said he had. She’s going to “fill his tank with goodies.” Doesn’t work. Her eyes are riveted on him. He feels “smothered” or maybe even resentful: “Why is she doing this NOW!” She’s hopeful, but eventually that turns to resentment. Her underlying motive – if I meet his needs, he will feel good and meet mine – just doesn’t work. It’s perceived as manipulation, which it is. Of course, he doesn’t say anything.
After all, how do you get angry with someone who is so “nice and caring?” Trust disintegrates under a blanket of quiet niceties. Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Dig beneath the surface. And then say to him: “I need x, y and z. I would like to talk to you about them. I would like us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to that?” He is empowered to say yes or no. Or, he may say, “What about my needs?” You respond, “I am very interested in hearing what is important to you, certainly.”
Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed/wanted? Didn’t you respect that person? Because you knew where he stood, and therefore where you stood, didn’t that interaction move toward a trusting relationship?
Keep your marriage fresh here:
https://bit.ly/2KAWiw8
5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn’t talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it.
She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can’t trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person.
Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining.
Now, please. I’m not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the 23 secrets of your illicit past behaviors. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not qualify as an elephant.
Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge. However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.
6. Let YOUR needs be known – loudly. Be a little – no, be a lot – self-centered. (Be self-centered, but not selfish!) Here’s a problem I run into almost every day. He is backing away (perhaps attached to work, another person, etc.). She feels the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to “win him back.” So she begins an all out effort to “work on the marriage.” She invites him to do so as well.
He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to “be nice” and meet every need he ever said he had. She’s going to “fill his tank with goodies.” Doesn’t work. Her eyes are riveted on him. He feels “smothered” or maybe even resentful: “Why is she doing this NOW!” She’s hopeful, but eventually that turns to resentment. Her underlying motive – if I meet his needs, he will feel good and meet mine – just doesn’t work. It’s perceived as manipulation, which it is. Of course, he doesn’t say anything.
After all, how do you get angry with someone who is so “nice and caring?” Trust disintegrates under a blanket of quiet niceties. Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Dig beneath the surface. And then say to him: “I need x, y and z. I would like to talk to you about them. I would like us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to that?” He is empowered to say yes or no. Or, he may say, “What about my needs?” You respond, “I am very interested in hearing what is important to you, certainly.”
Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed/wanted? Didn’t you respect that person? Because you knew where he stood, and therefore where you stood, didn’t that interaction move toward a trusting relationship?
Keep your marriage fresh here:
https://bit.ly/2KAWiw8
Wednesday, 31 May 2017
10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship: PART 2
A continuation of the ongoing series on building Trust in your relationship. Wish you an enjoyable read.
Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe?
This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying. Here’s a very simple but common example. You are getting ready to go to a formal dinner. Your wife comes to you and says, “How do I look?” (And she’s wearing a dress you don’t particularly like and her hair is pulled back in a way that turns you off.)
Not to spoil the evening you enthusiastically say, “You look great.” You don’t really mean it and a part of her knows you really don’t mean it. But, you leave it at that. This might not seem like a big deal – we all have done something similar – but if trust is shaky to begin with, it is even shakier now. Here’s how to match the words with the nonverbal: “I think you are a beautiful person. I want you to know that. I love you dearly and it will be wonderful to have you by my side tonight. Others will see your beauty. (As you say this, you look into her eyes as you put your hands around her waist.)
She’s not concerned so much with how she looks but is expressing a need for affirmation. She’s not talking about her dress or hair, but about wanting to know the evening is going to go just fine. You respond to the real message. You can take this one step further, if you like. At some point you might bring up her need for affirmation and talk about that. Ask her is there is anything you can say or do so that need is met. Trust is awareness of the intent beneath the obvious message and responding to that!
Believe the other person is competent. I hear this phrase very often: “But, I don’t want to hurt him.” A couple of things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true.
The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be the truth may indeed be a distorted perception that fits our personal needs.) Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation.
She doesn’t trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does (feigns inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as well. A dance is acted out.
Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. “Hey, she thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, this is mighty good! I CAN engage her and be truly intimate!”
Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe?
This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying. Here’s a very simple but common example. You are getting ready to go to a formal dinner. Your wife comes to you and says, “How do I look?” (And she’s wearing a dress you don’t particularly like and her hair is pulled back in a way that turns you off.)
Not to spoil the evening you enthusiastically say, “You look great.” You don’t really mean it and a part of her knows you really don’t mean it. But, you leave it at that. This might not seem like a big deal – we all have done something similar – but if trust is shaky to begin with, it is even shakier now. Here’s how to match the words with the nonverbal: “I think you are a beautiful person. I want you to know that. I love you dearly and it will be wonderful to have you by my side tonight. Others will see your beauty. (As you say this, you look into her eyes as you put your hands around her waist.)
She’s not concerned so much with how she looks but is expressing a need for affirmation. She’s not talking about her dress or hair, but about wanting to know the evening is going to go just fine. You respond to the real message. You can take this one step further, if you like. At some point you might bring up her need for affirmation and talk about that. Ask her is there is anything you can say or do so that need is met. Trust is awareness of the intent beneath the obvious message and responding to that!
Believe the other person is competent. I hear this phrase very often: “But, I don’t want to hurt him.” A couple of things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true.
The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be the truth may indeed be a distorted perception that fits our personal needs.) Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation.
She doesn’t trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does (feigns inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as well. A dance is acted out.
Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. “Hey, she thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, this is mighty good! I CAN engage her and be truly intimate!”
Monday, 29 May 2017
10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship: PART 1
I'm starting a series of write ups on one of corner posts of a healthy relationship, particularly for those in marriage. You will do both of You a lot good if you patiently journey with me on this series. It promises a lot of adventures. Trust is the name of this corner piece. Enjoy each part of the series as we go ahead. Please and please, drop your views/comments as we go along. I would endeavour to postpone the mention of my recommended text on saving your marriage till the last piece of this series so that you may appreciate the text when you lay your hand on it.
1. Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What’s up? Why is he doing that? He’s never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes his patterns. His behavior becomes unpredictable. You get the picture? Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust. Be consistent in what you do. This doesn’t mean you must be boring. If there is a twinkle in your eye and a dose of spontaneity every so often, for goodness sakes be spontaneous and fun loving. But, be spontaneous consistently! Be true to who you have always been and be that consistently, whoever you tend to be!
2. Inform your significant other when you become “unpredictable.” No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly, sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions. Life can get very squirrelly and unpredictable. (I have a favorite phrase: Gold is refined through intense heat.) Growth in an individual, marriage or family often is accompanied by a little chaos. Welcome these shifts, for there is a part of you searching for something better/different/richer/deeper, but for heaven’s sake, inform your partner of what you are experiencing. Say, “I really don’t know what is going on in me right now, but I’m moving in a different direction. Be a little patient with me while I figure this out. I might do some silly things, but my intent is not to harm you or scare you. Accept some of my wondering and wandering and please be there for me? I may need to run some of this by you every so often!”
Saturday, 20 May 2017
MARRIAGE IS LIKE A SHOE.
"Marriage is like a shoe. When you wear oversize, be ready to drag it along through out life, and when you wear under-size be ready to feel the pains through out life".
One thing about marriage is that you don't drop your shoe or remove it at any point, no matter how painful or how stressful it is. That is why I thought it necessary to write you this letter.
Dear Singles, When you are ready to buy your own shoe please take note of these three things:
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE : Do not look for the beautiful ones, the nice ones or the cheap ones. Look for the one that is your size. Not every handsome, wealthy or intelligent guy is for you, not every beautiful woman is for you. Look for the one that is meant for you, the one that aligns with your values and belief, the one who you meet at your life's journey. It is important to know where you're going in life before you think of getting a wife.
POSITION : All sizes of shoes are not placed in the same place. There is a place for court shoes, laced up shoes, sport footwear, snickers etc. We have Children sizes, young people's sizes and the adult sizes. Know where to get your own shoe. Your size cannot be everywhere my brother, your type cannot be everywhere my sister. You cannot be a Christian, and be looking for a wife material at a club. Your wife or husband can't just be everywhere. Stick to your values and therein you shall find someone like you, but when your values are not defined anyone can just match you. Discover yourself and define your values.
PERCEPTION : In this kind of shoe purchasing enterprise, you are not permitted to try the shoe before you buy. This is why it is important to seek guidance and counseling, from people who have bought shoes before or are into the business of directing people to the right shoes (Pastors and Relationship coaches). And most importantly to avoid much time wasting time, simply consult the SHOE MANUFACTURER to tell you your size (GOD ALMIGHTY ).
"You do not prepare for wedding, you prepare for marriage." Ladies these days get so motivated when they attend wedding and they will quickly want to say yes to that guy.
Wait!!! It is not just the wedding oh. The wedding is just one day. After the wedding WHAT NEXT?
Finally, it is not something you rush to the market and just pick a shoe because you like or can purchase it. Ask questions -Where is this shoe made from? (Background) -What's the size (Values) -How much (His/Her interest) -How long will it last (His/Her Character) -Who made it? (Is she/He of the same faith This is compatibility) -Will it match me? (This is whether he/she love you and will accept you the way you are)
Dear one, remember many are dragging their foot and they would hardly reach their destinies, many are feeling endless pains and wish they could pull off the shoes but no way!!! I have seen people with beautiful shoes and when they show you their foot, you will see scars.
Beloved, it is not about the physical, it is the size, you can't know the size from afar so come close, build a relationship first but remember 'you are not permitted to try it before you buy it'.
And for those who have purchased the wrong shoes, you can still make it your size again if you'd consult the manufacturer and let Him have His way in your marriage. Save Your Marriage Here . God bless us all.
Original Write Up By Nadia Buhari.
One thing about marriage is that you don't drop your shoe or remove it at any point, no matter how painful or how stressful it is. That is why I thought it necessary to write you this letter.
Dear Singles, When you are ready to buy your own shoe please take note of these three things:
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE : Do not look for the beautiful ones, the nice ones or the cheap ones. Look for the one that is your size. Not every handsome, wealthy or intelligent guy is for you, not every beautiful woman is for you. Look for the one that is meant for you, the one that aligns with your values and belief, the one who you meet at your life's journey. It is important to know where you're going in life before you think of getting a wife.
POSITION : All sizes of shoes are not placed in the same place. There is a place for court shoes, laced up shoes, sport footwear, snickers etc. We have Children sizes, young people's sizes and the adult sizes. Know where to get your own shoe. Your size cannot be everywhere my brother, your type cannot be everywhere my sister. You cannot be a Christian, and be looking for a wife material at a club. Your wife or husband can't just be everywhere. Stick to your values and therein you shall find someone like you, but when your values are not defined anyone can just match you. Discover yourself and define your values.
PERCEPTION : In this kind of shoe purchasing enterprise, you are not permitted to try the shoe before you buy. This is why it is important to seek guidance and counseling, from people who have bought shoes before or are into the business of directing people to the right shoes (Pastors and Relationship coaches). And most importantly to avoid much time wasting time, simply consult the SHOE MANUFACTURER to tell you your size (GOD ALMIGHTY ).
"You do not prepare for wedding, you prepare for marriage." Ladies these days get so motivated when they attend wedding and they will quickly want to say yes to that guy.
Wait!!! It is not just the wedding oh. The wedding is just one day. After the wedding WHAT NEXT?
Finally, it is not something you rush to the market and just pick a shoe because you like or can purchase it. Ask questions -Where is this shoe made from? (Background) -What's the size (Values) -How much (His/Her interest) -How long will it last (His/Her Character) -Who made it? (Is she/He of the same faith This is compatibility) -Will it match me? (This is whether he/she love you and will accept you the way you are)
Dear one, remember many are dragging their foot and they would hardly reach their destinies, many are feeling endless pains and wish they could pull off the shoes but no way!!! I have seen people with beautiful shoes and when they show you their foot, you will see scars.
Beloved, it is not about the physical, it is the size, you can't know the size from afar so come close, build a relationship first but remember 'you are not permitted to try it before you buy it'.
And for those who have purchased the wrong shoes, you can still make it your size again if you'd consult the manufacturer and let Him have His way in your marriage. Save Your Marriage Here . God bless us all.
Original Write Up By Nadia Buhari.
Glad to welcome you all to this self-help page about taking your marriage and relationship to a new level.
Life is all about relationships, either with your siblings, spouse, business partners or what have you.
As long as humans are involved in relationships, it has to be guarded and nurtured for healthy growth and development.
This blog is put together to help everyone get the best out of these various relationships that we might be involved in.
It has been said that each of us is responsible for the health of our relationships and not the person with whom we're in relationship, so getting the best and most out of that relationship is our responsibility.
Visit this page as regularly as you can and you're assured of reading something fresh on those occasions.
Once again, you're most welcome on this adventurous journey into a new level of marital bliss.
Whatever the situation your marriage may be in right now, be rest assured it can be made better and it will become a source of pride to you.
Life is all about relationships, either with your siblings, spouse, business partners or what have you.
As long as humans are involved in relationships, it has to be guarded and nurtured for healthy growth and development.
This blog is put together to help everyone get the best out of these various relationships that we might be involved in.
It has been said that each of us is responsible for the health of our relationships and not the person with whom we're in relationship, so getting the best and most out of that relationship is our responsibility.
Visit this page as regularly as you can and you're assured of reading something fresh on those occasions.
Once again, you're most welcome on this adventurous journey into a new level of marital bliss.
Whatever the situation your marriage may be in right now, be rest assured it can be made better and it will become a source of pride to you.
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